Some of the things I hear a lot from various people are ”I have a right to” or ”I deserve.” maybe even ”I’m entitled to.” They often sound a bit like this: ”I have a right to feel this way!” ”I deserve to have that car.” “I’m entitled to do or say whatever I want.” While all of those statements may be true to an extent, they are more often than not, taken to an extreme.
You see, we live in a self-centered culture. It’s all about ”me” all the time. Even when doing something for someone else, we are sitting there thinking about what we get out of it. I supposed, to an extent, that’s just human nature.
We don’t understand the difference between rights, and privilege. We think that because we have a right to feel the way we feel, the right to believe what we want to believe, and the right to have an opinion on the things we see happening, that we also have the ”right” to force those feelings, beliefs, and opinions on other people. They do not have to listen or think our feelings are valid. They most definitely do not have to listen to or agree with our opinions or beliefs. The truth is, those are privileges. If we feel a certain way, expressing those feelings to the people around us is a PRIVILEGE. We need to start treating it that way. We need to stop spewing our hate, anger, and toxic attitude all over people. We have a right to feelings, opinions, and beliefs NOT to force them on the people we interact with. Our rights end where another person’s rights begin.
We also don’t understand the difference between wanting, deserving and earning. We use the concept of ”deserving” wrong, and abuse it. Just because we want a fancy car, house, to go out to dinner regularly, the newest iPhone, or even that candy bar we are eyeing at the checkout stand, doesn’t mean we deserve any of those things. We need to EARN them. We need to work our asses off until we can afford the things we want. Now, don’t mistake that for genuine need, you obviously need a roof over your head and a reliable vehicle, etc. However, my point is that we as a culture are putting ourselves into horrible overwhelming debt over things we don’t need, we are putting ourselves into unnecessarily stressful lifestyles because of all the things we think we deserve to have.
Entitlement, oh entitlement. This may be the biggest problem we face as a society. It’s part of the reason we are stuck in the misconception of what we have a right to and what we think we deserve. We have gotten spoiled, petty, and downright childish. We believe that these things that used to be worked for and earned are something that should be handed to us. We lack empathy, consideration, and gratefulness. We take and take and take yet are never satisfied. We believe that we inherently deserve special privileges and treatment simply for existing.
Okay, I know that was a whole lot of negative all at once and was pretty harsh. However, a load of sugar-coated bullshit isn’t going to get my point across. I’m not here to coddle you, I’m here to help you grow.
Here is my advice…
This one might offend some people, but here goes. Stop expecting things to be given to you. Get off your ass and earn them. (I understand that there are people with extenuating circumstances that prevent them from working, I’m not talking about them.) Drop the excuses and entitlement that you are using to justify what you believe you deserve and have a right to. Go out there and work your way from the ground up, don’t stop until you are proud of what you have earned and accomplished. Trust me, earning something feels a hell of a lot better than having it given to you.
This one might strike a nerve or two. Stop buying crap you don’t need and can’t afford just because you want it or think you deserve it. Live within your means or (like I said in the paragraph above) work your ass off until you can afford it. If it’s something you legitimately need or really want, you will find a way to make it happen. So many people are putting themselves into crippling and overwhelming debt for no good reason! Jealousy and the childish ”I want” attitude are what get people into this predicament.
Be grateful. I know you may be thinking ”I already am!” Trust me, you can still improve. Start making a list of 3-5 things you are grateful for each day. Don’t just make it the easy everyday stuff, instead, look for unique things to be thankful for. When we take the time to appreciate what we have we are shifting our focus from what we want or think we deserve and are able to realize all of the amazing things we already have going in our lives.
Be mindful. The next time you hear yourself using the words right, deserve, entitled, and even need, stop and ask your self ”Are you sure about that?” ”Do I really have that right?” ”Do I deserve this or do I need to earn it?” ”Is this something I am entitled to or is it a privilege?” ”Do I really need it, or do I want it?” Be aware of how you are talking to yourself, about your life, and to others. What we feed our minds impacts our attitude and beliefs.
Last but not least. Stop giving a damn about what other people think, say, and do it’s a waste of time and energy! Instead, go out there and live a life you are proud of!